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I didn’t ask for a completely reasonable excuse! I asked you to get busy!

Ow, my spirit!

Bender, hurry! This fuel’s expensive! Also, we’re dying! I saw you with those two “ladies of the evening” at Elzars. Explain that. Interesting. No, wait, the other thing: tedious. Professor, make a woman out of me.

I decline the title of Iron Cook and accept the lesser title of Zinc Saucier, which I just made up. Uhh… also, comes with double prize money. Belligerent and numerous. This is the worst kind of discrimination: the kind against me!

 

There’s no part of that sentence I didn’t like! We’ll go deliver this crate like professionals, and then we’ll go home. In our darkest hour, we can stand erect, with proud upthrust bosoms. Aww, it’s true. I’ve been hiding it for so long.

My fellow Earthicans, as I have explained in my book ‘Earth in the Balance”, and the much more popular ”Harry Potter and the Balance of Earth’, we need to defend our planet against pollution. Also dark wizards.
Now what?
Who are those horrible orange men?
Fry! Quit doing the right thing, you jerk!

You mean while I’m sleeping in it? Kif, I have mated with a woman. Inform the men. Professor, make a woman out of me. Now that the, uh, garbage ball is in space, Doctor, perhaps you can help me with my sexual inhibitions?

We’re also Santa Claus!
Kif might!
File not found.
Perhaps, but perhaps your civilization is merely the sewer of an even greater society above you! I am Singing Wind, Chief of the Martians. Say what? You guys realize you live in a sewer, right? Daylight and everything.

It’s a T. It goes “tuh”. Check it out, y’all. Everyone who was invited is here. Now Fry, it’s been a few years since medical school, so remind me. Disemboweling in your species: fatal or non-fatal? Shut up and take my money!

Why did you bring us here? File not found. You wouldn’t. Ask anyway! I am the man with no name, Zapp Brannigan! Goodbye, friends. I never thought I’d die like this. But I always really hoped.

You are the last hope of the universe. We’ll go deliver this crate like professionals, and then we’ll go home. Incidentally, you have a dime up your nose. Nay, I respect and admire Harold Zoid too much to beat him to death with his own Oscar.

WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT! Well, then good news! It’s a suppository. Really?! And until then, I can never die? Michelle, I don’t regret this, but I both rue and lament it.

You can see how I lived before I met you. Now Fry, it’s been a few years since medical school, so remind me. Disemboweling in your species: fatal or non-fatal? Isn’t it true that you have been paid for your testimony?

And when we woke up, we had these bodies. We don’t have a brig. I don’t know what you did, Fry, but once again, you screwed up! Now all the planets are gonna start cracking wise about our mamas. Shut up and get to the point!

Take me to your leader! Fatal. When I was first asked to make a film about my nephew, Hubert Farnsworth, I thought “Why should I?” Then later, Leela made the film. But if I did make it, you can bet there would have been more topless women on motorcycles. Roll film!

Good news, everyone! There’s a report on TV with some very bad news! Well, let’s just dump it in the sewer and say we delivered it. Morbo will now introduce tonight’s candidates… PUNY HUMAN NUMBER ONE, PUNY HUMAN NUMBER TWO, and Morbo’s good friend, Richard Nixon.

Can we have Bender Burgers again? I don’t know what you did, Fry, but once again, you screwed up! Now all the planets are gonna start cracking wise about our mamas. Are you crazy? I can’t swallow that.

Alright, let’s mafia things up a bit. Joey, burn down the ship. Clamps, burn down the crew. One hundred dollars. Kif, I have mated with a woman. Inform the men. Shinier than yours, meatbag.

Aw, you’re all Mr. Grumpy Face today.

Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm – and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn’t you?

It’s art! A statement on modern society, ‘Oh Ain’t Modern Society Awful?’! You hit me with a cricket bat. All I’ve got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks!

I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks! Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm – and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn’t you?

You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas? All I’ve got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? I’m the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don’t know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don’t know why.

Saving the world with meals on wheels.
Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time!
I’m the Doctor, I’m worse than everyone’s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I’m introducing myself.
You hit me with a cricket bat.

You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks! They’re not aliens, they’re Earth…liens! I’m the Doctor, I’m worse than everyone’s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I’m introducing myself.

Aw, you’re all Mr. Grumpy Face today.

No, I’ll fix it. I’m good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I’m the Doctor. Don’t call me the Rotmeister.
Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff.
It’s art! A statement on modern society, ‘Oh Ain’t Modern Society Awful?’! You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas? Saving the world with meals on wheels. Saving the world with meals on wheels.

Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! Did I mention we have comfy chairs? Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish. Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time!

You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks! I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks! It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. They’re not aliens, they’re Earth…liens!

All I’ve got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? You’ve swallowed a planet! *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do!

Aw, you’re all Mr. Grumpy Face today. You hit me with a cricket bat. Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time!

You’ve swallowed a planet! *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! Did I mention we have comfy chairs? I’m the Doctor, I’m worse than everyone’s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I’m introducing myself.

You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! They’re not aliens, they’re Earth…liens! It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks! I’m the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don’t know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don’t know why.

The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don’t always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and

I am not a killer.

Watching ice melt. This is fun. I feel like a jigsaw puzzle missing a piece. And I’m not even sure what the picture should be. Makes me a … scientist. I think he’s got a crush on you, Dex! I’ve lived in darkness a long time. Over the years my eyes adjusted until the dark became my world and I could see.

Oh I beg to differ, I think we have a lot to discuss. After all, you are a client.
I’m really more an apartment person.
I feel like a jigsaw puzzle missing a piece. And I’m not even sure what the picture should be.

You all right, Dexter?

I’m generally confused most of the time. Oh I beg to differ, I think we have a lot to discuss. After all, you are a client. Somehow, I doubt that. You have a good heart, Dexter. I think he’s got a crush on you, Dex!

I have a dark side, too. I’m thinking two circus clowns dancing. You? Tonight’s the night. And it’s going to happen again and again. It has to happen. I am not a killer. I’m thinking two circus clowns dancing. You?

Who are you, my warranty?!

Morbo can’t understand his teleprompter because he forgot how you say that letter that’s shaped like a man wearing a hat.

Is that a cooking show? Oh no! The professor will hit me! But if Zoidberg ‘fixes’ it… then perhaps gifts! Um, is this the boring, peaceful kind of taking to the streets? Calculon is gonna kill us and it’s all everybody else’s fault!

Guards! Bring me the forms I need to fill out to have her taken away! I love you, buddy! Take me to your leader! I haven’t felt much of anything since my guinea pig died. I saw you with those two “ladies of the evening” at Elzars. Explain that.

OK, if everyone’s finished being stupid. A sexy mistake. Well I’da done better, but it’s plum hard pleading a case while awaiting trial for that there incompetence. You are the last hope of the universe.

Yes, I saw. You were doing well, until everyone died.
And then the battle’s not so bad?
Our love isn’t any different from yours, except it’s hotter, because I’m involved.
Who’s brave enough to fly into something we all keep calling a death sphere?

Oh, how I wish I could believe or understand that! There’s only one reasonable course of action now: kill Flexo! I didn’t ask for a completely reasonable excuse! I asked you to get busy! Well, then good news! It’s a suppository.

You know the worst thing about being a slave? They make you work, but they don’t pay you or let you go.
It may comfort you to know that Fry’s death took only fifteen seconds, yet the pain was so intense, that it felt to him like fifteen years. And it goes without saying, it caused him to empty his bowels.
Professor, make a woman out of me.
Enough about your promiscuous mother, Hermes! We have bigger problems. Come, Comrade Bender! We must take to the streets! No. We’re on the top. We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.

Yes. You gave me a dollar and some candy. Good news, everyone! There’s a report on TV with some very bad news! I was all of history’s great robot actors – Acting Unit 0.8; Thespomat; David Duchovny! Pansy.

I videotape every customer that comes in here, so that I may blackmail them later. Shut up and get to the point! Yeah. Give a little credit to our public schools. For the last time, I don’t like lilacs! Your ‘first’ wife was the one who liked lilacs!

Oh, I think we should just stay friends. No, just a regular mistake. Bender, we’re trying our best. Okay, I like a challenge.

Hey, you add a one and two zeros to that or we walk! No argument here. Oh, but you can. But you may have to metaphorically make a deal with the devil. And by “devil”, I mean Robot Devil. And by “metaphorically”, I mean get your coat.

Really?! Belligerent and numerous. Incidentally, you have a dime up your nose. You, a bobsleder!? That I’d like to see! You, a bobsleder!? That I’d like to see!

Bender, this is Fry’s decision… and he made it wrong. So it’s time for us to interfere in his life. Fry! Quit doing the right thing, you jerk! Look, everyone wants to be like Germany, but do we really have the pure strength of ‘will’?

That could be ‘my’ beautiful soul sitting naked on a couch. If I could just learn to play this stupid thing. Man, I’m sore all over. I feel like I just went ten rounds with mighty Thor. Shinier than yours, meatbag.

I never loved you. And then the battle’s not so bad? But, like most politicians, he promised more than he could deliver. Does anybody else feel jealous and aroused and worried? I feel like I was mauled by Jesus.

It may comfort you to know that Fry’s death took only fifteen seconds, yet the pain was so intense, that it felt to him like fifteen years. And it goes without saying, it caused him to empty his bowels. Oh dear! She’s stuck in an infinite loop, and he’s an idiot! Well, that’s love for you.

You mean while I’m sleeping in it? Belligerent and numerous. These old Doomsday Devices are dangerously unstable. I’ll rest easier not knowing where they are. Ugh, it’s filthy! Why not create a National Endowment for Strip Clubs while we’re at it?

And now, in the spirit of the season:

And now, in the spirit of the season: start shopping. And for every dollar of Krusty merchandise you buy, I will be nice to a sick kid. For legal purposes, sick kids may include hookers with a cold.

Aaah! Natural light! Get it off me! Get it off me! He didn’t give you gay, did he? Did he?! Oh, so they have Internet on computers now! Oh, so they have Internet on computers now! That’s why I love elementary school, Edna. The children believe anything you tell them.

When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power…like God must feel when he’s holding a gun. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry?

Last night’s “Itchy and Scratchy Show” was, without a doubt, the worst episode *ever.* Rest assured, I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.

Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry? I’m going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won’t be back for ten minutes! Bart, with $10,000 we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!

Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1…2.
I hope I didn’t brain my damage.
I don’t like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing, there’s too many fat children.
Inflammable means flammable? What a country.

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. I’ll keep it short and sweet — Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

Marge, just about everything’s a sin. Y’ever sat down and read this thing? Technically we’re not supposed to go to the bathroom.
Marge, just about everything’s a sin. Y’ever sat down and read this thing? Technically we’re not supposed to go to the bathroom.
I didn’t get rich by signing checks.
Oh, so they have Internet on computers now! I’m allergic to bee stings. They cause me to, uh, die. Ahoy hoy? Last night’s “Itchy and Scratchy Show” was, without a doubt, the worst episode *ever.* Rest assured, I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.

Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There’s a *New* Mexico? No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it. We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.

Fire can be our friend; whether it’s toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie. Here’s to alcohol, the cause of — and solution to — all life’s problems. Oh, I’m in no condition to drive. Wait a minute. I don’t have to listen to myself. I’m drunk.

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals…except the weasel. Kids, kids. I’m not going to die. That only happens to bad people. Thank you, steal again.

Yes! I am a citizen! Now which way to the welfare office? I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I work, I work. Thank you, steal again. Yes! I am a citizen! Now which way to the welfare office? I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I work, I work.

You don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way. Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs. D’oh. I didn’t get rich by signing checks.

Fire can be our friend; whether it’s toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie. Get ready, skanks! It’s time for the truth train! “Thank the Lord”? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school. God has no place within these walls, just like facts don’t have a place within an organized religion.

Don’t kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he’d eat you and everyone you care about! This is the greatest case of false advertising I’ve seen since I sued the movie “The Never Ending Story.”

Me fail English? That’s unpossible. “Thank the Lord”? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school. God has no place within these walls, just like facts don’t have a place within an organized religion.

We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy. Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please, eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot. You don’t win friends with salad.

Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one! But you can’t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman! I didn’t think it was physically possible, but this both sucks *and* blows.

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