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Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably.

The lesson is, never try. But, Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You’re from two different worlds… Oh, I’ve wasted my life. I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman.

Brace yourselves gentlemen. According to the gas chromatograph, the secret ingredient is… Love!? Who’s been screwing with this thing? But, Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You’re from two different worlds… Oh, I’ve wasted my life.

Don’t kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he’d eat you and everyone you care about! Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? *Why did I have the bowl?*

Oh, a *sarcasm* detector. Oh, that’s a *really* useful invention! Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs. Slow down, Bart! My legs don’t know how to be as long as yours.

When will I learn? The answers to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV! You don’t win friends with salad. I’ve had it with this school, Skinner. Low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children…

Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one! But you can’t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman! Our differences are only skin deep, but our sames go down to the bone.

Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it. Stan Lee never left. I’m afraid his mind is no longer in mint condition. Uh, no, they’re saying “Boo-urns, Boo-urns.” Slow down, Bart! My legs don’t know how to be as long as yours.